SHE.HER.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Pictures So Far.....

I'm sorry Lord Jesus. You provided for me, but I still complained. I will learn to be thankful all of my days, for all You've done for me, and all You are providing. I know that You have plans to prosper me and groom me. I don't want to become a complainer. I want to be Thankful.

Thank you Lord for so many things. For making blogger well again, that I can thank You on my blog. For healing me from food-poisoning within less than a day. For healing my mum from food-poisoning. For giving me good friends and godly friends to talk to me and teach me. For not forsaking me even when I've done wrong many times. For blessing me with offers/sales for skirts, etc.

Thank You Lord Jesus for everything. It's the most wonderful thing I've heard today. I told John that You must be really sad now, that I've complained about the things You provided me. And John replied, God will be happy when you talk to Him. I almost teared. Jesus, I cannot find someone 50% similar to You. Thank You Lord Jesus. Make me Christ-like. Your love in me is a wonderful blessing. Let Your love within me overflow to the people around me, that they also can be blessed and they'll know that Your love is marvellous!!

Praise God from whom, all blessings flow. Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father Son, and Holy Ghost.......Amen.

Monday, July 27, 2009

A moment of thanksgiving! Always.
A moment to trust in Him. Always.

So many things to learn out of a sudden. Responsibilities.

I'm praying that the CC event will be led by God. God, teach me how to organise events in Your direction and for Your purpose. Teach me also how to be graceful and pastoral to the people I guide. Teach me how to handle household responsibilities that I'll be taking over pretty soon. Teach me..teach me Your ways.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Praise God!

1)A job in Auditing! A profession I wanted all along.
2)Healing from food poisoning on Friday. After receiving prayers during the session before jam & also did take some pills. Now I need to keep my mum in prayer as she is still recovering from the food poisoning that I went through on Friday. She takes longer to recover as she's aging. But I know that God will heal her completely. Amen!
3)Learning new things from Him, the Father.

I have no idea what's wrong with blogspot.com. It seems that I can't upload any pictures and can't enter entries with better fonts than this. Why so?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

It's amazing how God works. It's assuring and encouraging!

During the 1.5 months, I somehow had to urgency to hunt and hunt. But at the same time, I somehow knew that it will come, and I should just relax. Haha. And yes, God provided!

Now I'm hence looking for office wear. But I was advised not to buy so much. So far I only bought 3pieces. And will try to mix and match with the other clothes that I already have. Haha. Shoes will be something I need to buy, because I really don't have. Haha!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Take Things Easy

Now these 3 words are haunting me. I heard it from Kat. I saw it in her smses. I saw it on a stranger's T-shirt this morning. Woah.. And I told Kat about it. And perhaps really really, God is telling me that.

Dear Grace,
You don't have to worry about tomorrow or plan for tomorrow. I'm planning it for you! So go with My flow.. Enjoy life. Take things easy!

Yours,
Jesus

Thank you God for revealing each an everyday of areas You want me to mould. This clay is undergoing seriously moulding. Phew..

Thank you God that You're providing me unexpectedly. Thank God for a friend I met at TBG and for unexpected offers. Cool! Go with His flow. Hehe..

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

To hear my deep thoughts from another person kind of make me feel vulnerable, yet it gives me the urgency to rectify the problem.

I had a good time chatting with Kat this evening, though we met really late. And we have our dinner only at 8.30pm. Haha. As we sat down facing the BIG SEA at the top levels at Vivocity, that's where the sharing gets deeper. In fact, I didn't really share alot. But Kat kept telling me and revealing to me what I'm feeling on the inside. Till the point I stopped and asked her, "Who are you? Why are you articulating my feelings? How do you even know them?".

Kat just replied that it's what she sensed and see. Haha..and she said "Who are you? Haha...I'm "God"...haha". Very funny ah she. She said that I don't appear weak but I do not appear happy. And I paused, and looked away. I wanted to cry. It's quite bad to hear your feelings from someone else. Yeah. I think so. She asked am I really unhappy? Yeah, it's true. I told her I'm working on how to let God take control of my emotions, and not let situations/people/etc do so. And she said, maybe I've been working on it the wrong way. Hmm, then wad's the correct way?

Kat also identified to me that I do appear that I'm afraid to be alone, with no company. And it looks like I try and try alot to attract people to me. And she said if I keep doing so, people would feel uneasy and it'll shun them away from me instead of attracting them to me. And this is a VICIOUS CYCLE. Hmm, sounds real. And she said this cycle has to be broken, and it has to start with me. Ok. And I got to have the joy of the Lord in me. Because I often look really stern and angry, and that would desert people from me. Am I? It's a 3rd party's view, and it's usually quite accurate.

I met up with Kat also to ask for advice and directions about dance, and the line to draw, and what am I supposed to do with it. After a while, Kat said that I'm thinking really alot and really too much. Yes, we do plan, but sometimes we have to just relax and enjoy life. Let God lead and show up. Let go, Let God. And immediately, I told Kat, "oh my...why is it this four words again...". She laughed and said, "If you've been hearing it again and again, then maybe God is trying to tell you that. Let go, let God". Hmm, why is it I don't really like to hear those words. And about drawing the line to what moves are considered sleazy and what moves are acceptable, it all has to do with the discernment from God. True. That's one of John's points too. WRUD (Wisdom, Revelation, Understanding, Discernment).

About dance. Continue improving and let God show my 어머니 that dance isn't what she thinks it is. In fact it is an expression about God's love and our expression towards His love. All humans need love to survive.

Monday, July 6, 2009

This is a sweet scene from BOF. Gu Jun Hee Un-nee is really sisterly in this role. =)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The MV is cute. Because, different ones went up to the receptionist to ask for their Lost Items. And their Lost Items are things like Courage, Smile, First Love, Determination, etc. Isn't it strange? What makes them think that this receptionist has all those that they've lost. Shouldn't they seek God for all of these. Bcoz that's the only way to seek all they've lost.

When I finally got home, and hear my mum quarrelling with my dad again....initially I thought to myself, "Oh well...this isn't the first time". Then as I laid my head on the bed, there came an unexplanable fear. The fear of killing, the fear of destruction, the fear of violence suddenly welled up in me. And I couldn't sleep. My heart raced, I felt weak. I called upon the Lord Jesus. Jesus come, do something, remove my fears for they are not given by You. Take Lordship, take ownership.

Then I felt better.

Today's worship was great. Unexplainable. I kept pressing and asking God for His presence. Why is it I still don't feel Him? Till tears welled up and I felt the call to step into the place of His intimacy and not keep stand outside His door. Ok! During the second service, there was a point where there was free worship and I just felt led to start singing "I Love You, Lord. And I lift my voice. To worship You...." and start singing it to myself and enjoying His presence. Then suddenly, P.Gary started singing "I Love You, Lord. And I lift my voice. To worship You...." and I just felt the entire atmosphere went up to a higher level. Oh my oh my.. And I couldn't stop thanking God for His assurance of my connection with Him; because I kept telling Him, "Please, don't be angry with me". Wosh. Goosebumps.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

What am I dreaming again? Can you please leave me alone, and stop appearing in my dreams? Please..It's already difficult enough for me get over you, but why do you still have to make things more difficult?

Dream: I went to the counter to register for I don't know what event. And there K**F** suddenly popped his head out at the counter and saying, "GRACE! I've been looking for you........". What? Even I myself am stunned in the dream. I was like, eh...ok?

Dream Part 2: I don't know why my mind makes the dreams move. For a moment when I saw the ground abit flooded, I wished that there wasn't a severe flood, THEN came the horrible waves of flood moving towards my directions. Then again, I thought, this isn't as bad as the one I saw in THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, THEN came the REALLY BIG WAVES and the entire building was covered with coral blue waters, and I felt suffocated in the waters. I was submerged in the waters and couldn't really swim out, bcoz it's a building. Then that's where I called upon the Lord Jesus to save me, and I kept slapping myself to say "Time to wake up!!!".

Didn't really understand my dreams. Well, anyways. Had a great time with Rachael today at Lot1 and AMK, though we didn't plan to meet at all. I've sort of listed out my groom plan and would start to see how I can go about doing it, and who can I approach to be my mentor in those areas. 7months single hood starts offcially yesterday! haha.

1) Foundation: countenance, security
2) Job preparation: facing the challenges
3) Dance: how can I use it for God's glory
4) Dressing: knowing myself, what suits me better
5) Vocal: training in musical inclination, how can I use it for God's glory, song writing
6) Evangelism: chinese, missions

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Last night's dream: What was I thinking? Why did I feel sort of troubled when I heard K**F** playing my song? I actually came up to him and asked, how did he get to know this song. And the reply was so...wierd. He said that R****** showed him my song. I felt my knees went to the ground, and I bowed my head and 울 . Why would I do that? And Ellen said, she knew this would happened. What?

Reality: Why would I even feel troubled? I would have only been surprised and would like to find out. And more over, I wouldn't 울 about it. What's there to 울 about? There's nothing to be upset about. Why do I feel that way in my dream?

Foundation: Why do I always long for an elder 여자 형제? When I see that others are strong, I would admire them and want to learn from them. Why is this so? Actually, all of these lies into one reason. My foundation. I am my Maker's, and my Maker is in me. My Maker is my foundation. However, when a clay wants to become something else that the Potter is making, the shape will be distorted. Then the potter has to remake it but cutting the edges. It'll be more painful. Why don't we be obedient and let Him mould it the way He want to? It'll be less painful, and lesser effort of striving and pursuing is needed. If my foundation is strong, and I know that I'm strong in Him, burnt at 1300 degrees, craved, bent, etc, I do not need an elder 여자 형제. I can stop admiring the many elders who portray outstanding traits which were given by Him. Come to the Father. That's the answer. The way. The only way.

Eun Hye: Why is it so coincidental that my name in Korean is Eun Hye? And this korean actress acted in Coffee Prince. Eh..ay..ah..nevermind. I thought I could have completely wipe him off my memory, but I guess the stain has not been removed.

Chinese Ministry: Why do I feel like going there? Each time I would pop by to listen to their songs and I would feel so warm on the inside, and sometimes I cry. As I was thinking of it, something came to my mind. What can I do for the chinese min? WRITE SONGS! I just recalled that I started writing chinese songs since 14. My classmates were puzzled at how I wrote songs, and they enjoyed hearing me. But, I didn't progress after that for some years, as I thought this is just getting no where. Studies came first. Until now, the songs I write, the chords, are all in tune to chinese melody. Going down the scale. 1645, 1734. Haha. I'll still pray about it, before I approach anyone about this.