Sunday, September 27, 2009
How much is enough?
Trying to fight between the walls of fillial piety and practicality.
I wished I could give her paradise, but I also know at the back of my mind that it wouldn't do her very good. I wished I could spoil her, but I knew I shouldn't. And what's more I don't have enough to please what she asks for. From a new employee's point of view, only earning her first 2 months' pay, how much can she give?
Unless God gives me another fortune. My job is already a fortune from Him. Is there another to satisfy her? I asked for another fortune to fulfill faith promises and mission promises, but not to quench someone's thirst. Please Lord, tell me what's right? How much is enough? 1/3 of my salary for her that she's asking, is that reasonable? Is it reasonable for me to struggle through even my meals?
I've not spent anything on clothes, cosmetics, etc from my first pay. Except for a mini-handphone pouch which cost me less than 10 bucks.
Fillial piety or reality? Lord, You know best how much I need, and the limit I should place in giving. Why doesn't dad has a problem to how much I give?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Suffocated. Feeling kinda worried for the week ahead. There is so much to do and I'm not sure if I can complete it on time. The week is piled up with duties of stock take, my own few jobs, and also an outjob. Wow..God, help me speed up at my work so that I can contribute better.
Work aside. I guess I've learnt to let go of certain things as I look around me. When I see others being picked to do special items like a duet, solo, etc, I began to look at the person next to me; Ginny was still smiling happily as she sang her parts alongside with the others. Her husband, Theodore, whom used to be our rockstar for Father's Love, was also enjoying the singing in the choir. There's nothing to fight for. Just enjoy. If Mr.Brown can do so in humility for God, so should I.
At the same time, instead of letting "voices" to inform me of my inadequacy as a singer, I should just improve and enjoy improving and exploring. Linda has a great sense of imitating the "voice of the evil", and they really sounded familiar. It takes one who has walked a long path to know them all well. So I understand why I do have these thoughts and voices I hear occassionally. All I have to do is shut them out with the WORD of God! Cool right? That's for all who believes in Christ!
Friday, September 18, 2009
I was really angry last morning, despite my cheerful spirit as there will be a long weekend after today. I held onto the handrail with my right hand and came this china man who pushes me away so that he could grab onto it as well. Since I wasn't that weak to be pushed away, he tried something else. His other hand came over to hold onto the handrail with his fingers slightly carressing my hand again and again. For a moment, I thought was this really happening? There were so many people on the MRT, and he's doing this? But no one actually bothered to tell him off. After a while I moved away from the handrail and have no more body contact with that person. But as I was leaving the handrail, he used his elbow to rub against my arm. I seriously should have just scolded him. But where was my courage? Dratz. I felt that I should have done something which I failed to do. Tight slap that person. Oh dear..
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Thank God. ZhuJie came for Chinese service this morning! I asked to step down in order to be her host at the 2nd service. I was really challenging trying to speak to her in mandarin, as she's from mainland China. Well, I've learnt alot. Haha!
Bringing her down to the reception felt alittle different as I've not done that before. However, I'm amazed at how Pastor Patsy speaks and explains with analogies in mandarin. I'm so proud of her. There's alot I can learn from her! Haha.. Zhu Jie is really a sweet girl. She felt really paiseh that the church kept giving her gifts as it was her first time. Haha. Right from the start of the service where the pastor invited new-faces to rise up, she felt really shy; however, Pastor Kelvin was sharp enough to notice the grins on our faces and knew that she's a newcomer. So he had everyone to welcome her. Hahahhaha....The more we try to hide, we tend to be more exposed! Haha.
Though she's still deciding abt her decision after the illustration of the bridge diagram, we believe her heart's open. Thank God!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Oh well....I should not allow the HTML errors on blogger.com to be an excuse for not blogging. I'll just update this blog of mine despite looking at the "ugly" looking courier fonts meant for HTML settings rather than pure blogging past-time.
However, I'm not able to upload any pictures as blogger.com's error has malfunctioned the upload icon. Dished....It's alright. I'm still breathing while I stare at those funny looking fonts. I don't really fancy courier fonts as you see.. It makes me feel like I'm typing a very formal business Sales Invoice. Ah..Hope you guys understand.
I'm glad I could still meet up with Yanru for lunch once a week, since our offices are one MRT stop apart. Haha! She usually has to take a train down to meet me, as my lunch constraints are stricter than hers. Sorry Yanru, for making you walk a long path towards Amara for a better feast. Next time we'll go somewhere nearer the MRT right?
I'm still adjusting to my first job ever. Facing a superior with high expectations and blunt comments was really horrendous on my Monday. I broke down then and called up John, Carrie, Waikay, etc. Only Waikay was available. Thank God! I needed someone I could talk to after the episode of brokenness. It makes me come to a point knowing I can't do anything without God. Building my foundation in Christ requires Faith! I just found out this morning. Maybe I haven't dwelled longer into finding out about how to build my foundation in Christ; otherwise I would have found out earlier. But well, it's not too late to know now. At least, I can work on it from now on.
God is good. When I felt that I'm alone, no one to talk to after service, He provided Rachael, Johnson, Kevin, Linda, etc. After all fellowship, I made my way to the bus-stop thinking it's me and myself with God walking on a whole stretch of concrete pavement. Then I spotted a pretty lady on bus no.8, and she looked at me and waved. Haha! It was Dolly! That's nice. To meet someone unexpectedly. I'm not alone! Not bcoz of Dolly, but it's bcoz God's always blessing me with people (relationships) along the way whenever I thought I'm alone.
