To hear my deep thoughts from another person kind of make me feel vulnerable, yet it gives me the urgency to rectify the problem.
I had a good time chatting with Kat this evening, though we met really late. And we have our dinner only at 8.30pm. Haha. As we sat down facing the BIG SEA at the top levels at Vivocity, that's where the sharing gets deeper. In fact, I didn't really share alot. But Kat kept telling me and revealing to me what I'm feeling on the inside. Till the point I stopped and asked her, "Who are you? Why are you articulating my feelings? How do you even know them?".
Kat just replied that it's what she sensed and see. Haha..and she said "Who are you? Haha...I'm "God"...haha". Very funny ah she. She said that I don't appear weak but I do not appear happy. And I paused, and looked away. I wanted to cry. It's quite bad to hear your feelings from someone else. Yeah. I think so. She asked am I really unhappy? Yeah, it's true. I told her I'm working on how to let God take control of my emotions, and not let situations/people/etc do so. And she said, maybe I've been working on it the wrong way. Hmm, then wad's the correct way?
Kat also identified to me that I do appear that I'm afraid to be alone, with no company. And it looks like I try and try alot to attract people to me. And she said if I keep doing so, people would feel uneasy and it'll shun them away from me instead of attracting them to me. And this is a VICIOUS CYCLE. Hmm, sounds real. And she said this cycle has to be broken, and it has to start with me. Ok. And I got to have the joy of the Lord in me. Because I often look really stern and angry, and that would desert people from me. Am I? It's a 3rd party's view, and it's usually quite accurate.
I met up with Kat also to ask for advice and directions about dance, and the line to draw, and what am I supposed to do with it. After a while, Kat said that I'm thinking really alot and really too much. Yes, we do plan, but sometimes we have to just relax and enjoy life. Let God lead and show up. Let go, Let God. And immediately, I told Kat, "oh my...why is it this four words again...". She laughed and said, "If you've been hearing it again and again, then maybe God is trying to tell you that. Let go, let God". Hmm, why is it I don't really like to hear those words. And about drawing the line to what moves are considered sleazy and what moves are acceptable, it all has to do with the discernment from God. True. That's one of John's points too. WRUD (Wisdom, Revelation, Understanding, Discernment).
About dance. Continue improving and let God show my 어머니 that dance isn't what she thinks it is. In fact it is an expression about God's love and our expression towards His love. All humans need love to survive.
I had a good time chatting with Kat this evening, though we met really late. And we have our dinner only at 8.30pm. Haha. As we sat down facing the BIG SEA at the top levels at Vivocity, that's where the sharing gets deeper. In fact, I didn't really share alot. But Kat kept telling me and revealing to me what I'm feeling on the inside. Till the point I stopped and asked her, "Who are you? Why are you articulating my feelings? How do you even know them?".
Kat just replied that it's what she sensed and see. Haha..and she said "Who are you? Haha...I'm "God"...haha". Very funny ah she. She said that I don't appear weak but I do not appear happy. And I paused, and looked away. I wanted to cry. It's quite bad to hear your feelings from someone else. Yeah. I think so. She asked am I really unhappy? Yeah, it's true. I told her I'm working on how to let God take control of my emotions, and not let situations/people/etc do so. And she said, maybe I've been working on it the wrong way. Hmm, then wad's the correct way?
Kat also identified to me that I do appear that I'm afraid to be alone, with no company. And it looks like I try and try alot to attract people to me. And she said if I keep doing so, people would feel uneasy and it'll shun them away from me instead of attracting them to me. And this is a VICIOUS CYCLE. Hmm, sounds real. And she said this cycle has to be broken, and it has to start with me. Ok. And I got to have the joy of the Lord in me. Because I often look really stern and angry, and that would desert people from me. Am I? It's a 3rd party's view, and it's usually quite accurate.
I met up with Kat also to ask for advice and directions about dance, and the line to draw, and what am I supposed to do with it. After a while, Kat said that I'm thinking really alot and really too much. Yes, we do plan, but sometimes we have to just relax and enjoy life. Let God lead and show up. Let go, Let God. And immediately, I told Kat, "oh my...why is it this four words again...". She laughed and said, "If you've been hearing it again and again, then maybe God is trying to tell you that. Let go, let God". Hmm, why is it I don't really like to hear those words. And about drawing the line to what moves are considered sleazy and what moves are acceptable, it all has to do with the discernment from God. True. That's one of John's points too. WRUD (Wisdom, Revelation, Understanding, Discernment).
About dance. Continue improving and let God show my 어머니 that dance isn't what she thinks it is. In fact it is an expression about God's love and our expression towards His love. All humans need love to survive.
